1: Manscaping

Greetings Bloggers. I need your advice.

My boyfriend keeps pestering to let him recommence ‘manscaping’. Manscaping, a term he believes he has coined, involves pruning of the male pubic area to something more comparable to the uniform height of a suburban hedge.

Now, I do not confess to be any huge fan of hairy men. This boyfriend is the first to be particularly furry and I have learnt to adapt. It has its benefits (I suppose) and has lead to affectionate cringe-inducing nicknames of the bear variety.

However, said Bear recently announced to me that he was very proud of the fact that his chest hair now meets his stomach hair because it is “like two great civilisations coming together”, with the patch above his navel designated “the embassy”. The small patch of hair he has developed on his upper back has been outlawed, and various sanctions including plucking will soon be enforced. The growth of chest and facial hair is subject to much applause but anything ‘down-below’ is subject to restrictive grooming- surely this deferential treatment is, in the least, unfair?

Is it wrong for me to think this is completely bizarre- was I wrong to ban him from doing it? Perhaps it is my desire more rugged men but perhaps this is some innate warning system causing me to act before he turns to shaping himself to suit particular occasions (a Santa hat for Christmas? a loveheart for Valentines?) or, unspeakably, turning to the male version of vajazzling?!